Riding in utero

When I was only a few months in the womb (way back in July of 2006), my folks decided to participate with some friends in SAGBRAW, a six day ride in Wisconsin along the Lake Michigan shoreline through towns like Sturgeon Bay, Green Bay, Fish Creek, Manitowc, and Port Washington to name a few. My mom had taken me out a few times in preparation for this journey, but this was my first "hard-core" bike riding experience. We rode over 300 miles, although I wasn't in a state to enjoy the scenery -- it was basically just a series of floating and bumping (gotta love the ambiotic fluid).

Below is journal entry from the "adults" as they drove up to Wisconsin. They "affectionately" referred to me as "The Grub" because they weren't certain at that time whether I was a boy or girl and my Papa (David), wannabe comedian that he is, pilfered the title from my Uncle Andrew.

Journal Entry 7/29/06

Setting the scene: We have 4 bikes, 4 people, 1 Grub (aka baby on the way), 1 cat and a 100 pound dog and an oversized roof clamshell in a compact station wagon. We’re rolling down the highway on our way to Wisconsin!

Patrick: "Bessie got pimped out for the Wisconsin ride!"
Missy: "That’s not my tone. I don’t go for vulgarity in my writing."
Jessica: "She’s a tight ride"
David: "You mean Bessie, right?"

Missy: "What are Bessie’s friends’ names?"
Patrick: "Leroy. He’s freshly cleaned and ready to cruise for the ladies. He left me in the lurch last week – tubeless, pumpless, and no bike computer during my half-ironman competition."
David: "That’s not Leroy’s fault. That’s a user error."
Jessica: "I don’t know what my bike’s name is. I never named it."
Patrick: "That’s a long name. Is that Scandinavian?"
Missy: "Bessie needs a bell. Can I have a horn? Either that or a megaphone. ‘Move it, coming on your left’ -- Beep Beep!"
Jessica: "Move it, Mr. Denim, coming up on your right. You don’t look comfortable in jean-shorts!"
David: "Harry… my bike’s name is Dirty Harry because I refuse to clean it, and when someone goes to pass me, he says ‘go ahead, make my day’."
Jessica: "My bike will be the Grubcycle. Since I’m riding for two, that means that I can eat for two – two milkshakes every day!"

Missy: "What motivates us to ride? Do we have mantras, theme songs, what?"
Patrick: "Huh?"
Jessica: "Because David already paid for the ride and he’ll kill me if I don’t"
Missy: "So you pay to torture yourself, I get it."
David: "Is it torture if you enjoy it? This is going to be fun."
Patrick: "I heard it was downhill with a tail-wind the entire way."
Missy: "Yeah, you’ll be eatin’ my dust!"
David: "What’s your theme song Missy?"
Patrick: "Proud Mary?"
Missy: "No, I had that one before, but I have a new one: ‘Bulls on Parade’ by Rage Against the Machine. What’s Leroy’s theme song?"
Patrick: "Sex Machine by James Brown. What’s yours David?"
David: "It’s got be something country! How about ‘Live Like You Were Dying’"

David: "Uh, Patrick, I think you missed the exit. You wanted ‘47’ which should have been 15 miles from ‘39’"
Patrick: "I gave the @#$#@%@! state $8.00 last week and this is the thanks I get! How can they charge you coming and going (after we get off the exit ramp and back on the same road).
After several miles
Patrick: "What’s this?"
David: "Highway ‘47’ overpass"
Patrick: "There’s no exit in this direction."
Missy: "Patrick states the obvious."
Jessica: Do an illegal u-turn up here. Just make sure there aren’t any Five-O’s around.
David: "Law-breaker."